Infamous

I walk past Building 722 at least 2 times a day.

From this point on, when I look left I will not see the same building.

I'll remember how quickly I can go to fearless to fearful.

Then I'll remember how in a month I'll tell my friends at home and hear the words "badass," "street-cred," and "Holy crap!"

And they will know that only I have the most epic group of friends in the world.





Whiskey. India. Lima. Delta. Whiskey. Oscar. Mike. Bravo. Alpha. Tango.

50th Entry

I can't think of much else to say, except that this is my 50th entry. You reading this is enough inspiration to make me want to write 50 more.


wildwombat

Extraordinary

Source: 1x.com

I found this trailer for a movie called "2081."
Look at it here: finallyequal.com

Apparently it's like a dystopia where everyone is equal and no one is extraordinary. Beautiful people are required to wear masks. Intelligent people wear things that keep certain parts of their brain from functioning. Strong people have to wear weights.

Things like that. I really like dystopia movies and stories for some reason, like Minority Report, Pleasantville, 1984 and Brave New World kind of things.

I'm interested to see how this movie plays out and what happens in the end. Then I wondered how this world would play out if it actually happened. All racial comments aside. How could you grow up in a world where everyone is equal? A world where no one is prettier than you, no one is smarter than you, no one is stronger than you. Would that make things better?

Because it seems like a lot of time we are comparing ourselves to others. That girl is way prettier than me. That guy is going to Stanford, he's way smarter than me. They were lifting 200 pound weights, they are definitely stronger than me. Mind you these are all not material things. So don't bring in nice cars or nice houses or anything into your thoughts about this. I'm mostly thinking of physical things.

How would the government even define what is extraordinary? A certain IQ? A certain amount of weight that everyone can lift easily? How would they define who is pretty and who isn't? It's completely in the eye of the beholder.

If these were enforced would the concept of beauty, intelligence and strength die out completely? And if they did die out completely, how would anyone know that someone is too beautiful or too smart? It's like good and evil. One can't exist without the other because we cannot know what's good until we know what is evil.

I had to write a paper about self-consciousness and whether it was beneficial or detrimental to society. I couldn't put my own opinion into it however, because I had to talk about it through the eyes of Rousseau and Nietzsche. But in any case, I can't really say if I think self-consciousness is good or bad for society.

It's good in that it makes us always strive for something better, but it's bad in that people can easily become consumed in wanting to be better thus thinking something is wrong with themselves. I'm simply not sure. I've just come to the conclusion that there's always going to be someone better than me no matter what I do, but the difference is not letting it get to me and I try not to. Some of the times it doesn't and sometimes it does, but it keeps things interesting you know?

Wow you must be really devoted to read 2 extremely long posts of mine...because I don't even know if they make sense after a while. But thanks for reading anyway, I really appreciate it.



wildwombat

Bad Faith

Source: Postsecret.com

Every morning at 8:15AM I wake up and question why I keep going to my Philosophy class. I could list the reasons why I should just lie back down and go back to sleep, but that would be an entry in itself. And yet sometimes we discuss interesting topics...like
de Beauvoir and "Bad Faith."

From what I can remember during the lecture my professor saying that bad faith to de Beauvoir is denying who you are as a free being. It's letting someone else make the decisions for you and blindly accepting the decisions they make. It's being unauthentic.

Now as you know and are possibly bored of reading, I'm currently in a struggle over telling my mother what I really want to do with my life and for some reason certain events are happening that are haunting as they are closely related to it.

I realize that I cannot and will not let others make decisions for me and I will not blindly accept them. I discussed with a friend of mine which was worse in the eyes of your parents:

Knowing exactly what you want to do, but your parents don't like it
or
Not having any idea what you want to do at all

I'm not sure which is worse, but I know I fit in to the first one pretty well. I'd like to go into journalism. Hopefully my passion for photography will help me get there. Another friend asked what I would cover if I got a job in journalism and I replied: Sports photography/reporting, Nature photography, or working for a magazine like Time or Life. And now that I think about it, I wouldn't pass a chance to become an advertising photographer. He then proceeded to tell me to go for it. Get internships and look into jobs, simply put: Prove. Her. Wrong.

And as mean as that sounds, it's almost true. I feel like I need to prove her wrong. There was a point when she didn't believe I would get into college, yes. She suggested that I look into community colleges (FYI! There's nothing wrong with them. Just not my style, you know?) and hope to transfer to a UC. And I felt like I had to prove her wrong by getting into at least one...and I did and I love that decision.

Over this weekend, I casually mentioned to my mom that I declared into the school of humanities and the response was...nothing. She said nothing. I don't know what to get from that, but it's probably not good.

I mean, what the hell happened? Am I still in the first grade mentality when you're supposed to support your child's dreams? Or is that lost in translation now that we have to factor in salary and things like that? Fuck it, I'm not going to fake my way to a degree I don't want and fake my way through a career I don't like or don't excel in.

In the same philosophy class, we discussed how far we would go to protect our authenticity...or I think we did. How far would we go to protect our happiness? Would I die to protect my happiness? I'm not sure. No one has ever threatened my happiness, but I'm pretty sure I would fight to protect it.

But then I thought to myself, how far would I go to protect my dream? Would I risk an incredibly competitive career? Would I risk all the work amounting to nothing? Would I risk the disapproval of my mother? I daresay I might. I may have regretted small things and asked "What would have happened if...?" But I'm not willing to do that with my career and life.

I found myself picturing getting into a huge fight with my mom over what I wanted to do and found myself replying a lot
"No! I have spent my entire life doing things because you told me to. I took honors classes because you told me to. I took AP classes because you told me to. I took AP tests because you told me to. I aspired to go to a UC because you told me to. I went to a UC because you told me to. I studied harder because you told me to. Now it's my turn to not listen and tell you this time that I want to do this. I won't go my entire life wondering if I had gone for it. I'm not ready to base my career on whether or not my mom likes it."
Hmm, sounds kind of harsh, I don't know, I doubt we'll fight about it anyway and I've made my decision already.

My government teacher's words often echo in my mind: "Even though your parents might tell you what to do with your lives, I'm not saying don't listen to them but, just remember this: They've lived their lives already. It's time to live your own."
How appropriate, true, and smart in so many ways at this point in my life.

Well, that hurdle to telling my mom is in my near future, but all this writing and words of support from my friends makes me feel prepared to face it. Thank you everyone for the positive support. It's hard to come by sometimes.

On a different note, this post is dedicated to AJ who admitted that this is way more entertaining than his CAT? lectures. Sorry I didn't post it before you got in the class.




wildwombat

Light Graffiti

Source: http://www.photopumpkin.com/photo-blog/light-graffiti/

I have fallen in love with these types of photos.



wildwombat

48 Hours

48 hours have come and gone.

And I broke my promise.

But like most things, I suppose I'll have to move past it.





wildwombat

She

She makes me smile.
She makes me make excuses to go see her.
She isn't like anyone I've met before.
She understands me more than anyone I've met before.
She understands my humor.
She makes me laugh more than anyone.
She is my Achilles heel.
She makes me stronger.
She will read this and wonder if it's about her

and she'll be right.





And within the next 48 hours, I swear she will know exactly how I feel about her.


wildwombat

Study Ball

Full description:
http://www.curiosite.com/scripts/product/enproduct.php?idproducto=19126738#

I know a couple people I will be getting this for...

wildwombat

Awesome.

Just like yesterday. Perfect.


wildwombat

Sometimes

I don't like to submit to days being "one of those days," but I think today is going to be...one of those days...

How can you be surrounded by so many good people and still feel alone?



wildwombat

The Elephairy

Why...why does this make me laugh?



wildwombat

You gotta want it

You gotta want it. You gotta see what you want and take it. You gotta show everyone else that you deserve it by taking it without fear. You gotta know that you'll never know what will happen until you take it. You gotta show the world you don't believe in "I wonder what would've happened if..." You gotta tell them "I will" when they all say "You can't." You gotta feel something different when everyone else feels the same.

"You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period."

I think we can all relate to this, especially at this point in our lives.

What do you want?


wildwombat

Mom

Hey Mom,
I think I can remember everything you've ever said to me, which means a lot because I can barely remember what my professors are lecturing about. I think there are lots of points in my life when I took you for granted, but that changed a lot during 2001 and especially when my sister/your daughter went to college. I think those two years brought us a lot closer together. I opened up a lot to you and I'm damn glad I did because it just seems too easy for people to try and separate themselves from their parents as much as possible.

And I think moving away from home has made me realize everything you've done for me. I don't know how you did it, but you've somehow made me into who I am. You somehow found the delicate balance between being a hovering parent to a not so much hovering parent? You get it.

I went through a phase when I thought you weren't proud of me and that you thought I would never amount to anything. I remember perfectly when I called you at work, crying, to tell you that I was rejected from UCSB and you simply said you loved me. For some reason that was all I needed to hear. Then when you dropped me off at UCI, you hugged me and told me you were so proud of me and I will never do anything to give that up.

You know I tell a lot of people about you at school and all of them have said they think you're really cool (which is a word I don't normally associate with you, just kidding) and they say it sounds like we have a really close relationship and I can confidently say that we do.

I love you, Mom. You're the strongest person I know. There's a lot more I can say, but I can't get it all out right now.

wildwombat

Where would you like to wake up tomorrow?

Fifty People, One Question: Brooklyn from Fifty People, One Question on Vimeo.

Stumbled upon this cool video where someone asked 50 people: "Where would you like to wake up tomorrow?"

Some pretty interesting answers, especially the Michael Jackson girl, but I liked the wide array of answers.

I might still be reeling from the completion of Faces of Ondas, but I kind of want to do this, like around Mesa Court or Ring Road or something...but I don't want to do it alone because that would be kind of weird, but I still want to do it.


wildwombat

Lessons Learned

I learned a lot of lessons today, not in class mind you, but because I forgot to pay my housing bill. I guess it could have been a lot worse, I mean it was only a 25 dollar late fee, but the process was killer.

Lesson 1: Keep checks with you
I must be so used to plastic cards and paper money that having checks seems obsolete, but apparently some people still use them. So I had to get a money order which I've never dealt with before and I doubt many people still do. I swear though, all I needed was a check and it all could've been finished in 20 minutes tops rather than 2.5 hours.

Lesson 2: Memorize your Social Security Number
They asked for my social security number when I got my money order because it was such a high amount. So I had to call my mom and wait for her to return my call and give me the number. Not fun.

Lesson 3: Don't think anything is over because you have everything you need.
After getting my debit card declined because it was such a high amount, going to my actual bank to tell them what happened, get a cashier's check from them and head back to the housing office, I thought I was scot free. But apparently you have to go to all the way to the housing admin office and pay for it there.

Lesson 4: Just pay your bills on time.
Save yourself money. Save yourself time. Save yourself energy. Save yourself stress. Because I'm pretty sure I used too much of all those things today than I should have. AND I missed the Champions League game. Son of a bee sting.

I also have a question for Mesa Housing in general:
Why didn't you send me an email saying my payment was late instead of actually giving me a paper letter?

My reasoning is as follows:
You sent me an email telling me I had to pay for housing in the first place because I'm pretty sure I've checked my email more than I've ever checked an actual mailbox.
You would have saved paper.
You would have gotten your money faster if you emailed me.
You could have called me, I'm pretty sure I've given UCI my phone number a million times in a million different places.
Why can't housing be paid at the same time on the same bill as registration fees? I understand that some people commute, but it just seems easier to ask for all your money at once.

I could get very cynical and say that you send letters rather than emails because it's your sick way of getting more money because no one ever actually checks their mailbox anymore.

I guess it's somewhat of a good thing I learned this now before I actually had a place to live because they could just kick me out without warning me.



wildwombat

Oh boy.

I went home this weekend, but it was pretty short since I had to leave early this morning to come back to school, plus I have a midterm tomorrow so I couldn't really hang out with my friends.

Anyhow, on our way back home, I was talking to my mom and the subject of majors and stuff came up. Great...

Unfortunately, I couldn't muster up the courage to tell her what I wanted to pursue, I couldn't even tell her that I'm now affiliated with the school of humanities. She said this, "Wes, just go into the healthcare field because it's something solid that will get you a job." Awesome. Just what I wanted to hear.

I know you'll tell me to just tell her and all that stuff about how she'll understand eventually, but how long is eventually? A day after? A year after? After graduation? After I get a job? I'd like to think my mom is an understanding person, but I can't stop myself from thinking she would feel nothing but disappointment...and I think it's simply because she's unfamiliar with that area.

She said something on the way to Irvine about how people in the journalism industry are good because the world needs those types of people who can write the articles and take the pictures...but it's really competitive. How is that any different than if I went into the healthcare field? The world always needs doctors! And I think it's just as competitive! EVEN BEFORE YOU GET A JOB! Yeah, so maybe being a doctor is a little more concrete and solid that being a journalist. But I still have to try.

I don't want to be a doctor. You don't see me getting awesome grades in biology or chemistry classes, all of my highest grades have been in English classes! I don't have any awards for excellence in Bio or Chem, but I have awards for photography! I'M IN TRANSWORLD SURF'S WEBSITE! I enjoy writing more than chemistry! I enjoy thinking differently, outside of a world of measurements, fancy labels and reason. Can't you understand that?

I'm going to pursue what I love, not what you love, even though I think you yourself don't love the healthcare field. You let those people become the doctors, Mom, they want it more than I do. I'd just be taking up space and making the curves more generous. Just, for once, let me take a god damn risk and do this.

Who knows? Maybe I'll actually surprise you and become successful and then maybe you'll understand because right now I'm sure you won't listen to what I have to say after I tell you I'm not going to be some Bio or Chem major and I am not going into the healthcare field. I'm going into the school of humanities, I'm going to pursue journalism, and I'm going to do what I love, not what you think is practical.


wildwombat

Giant Lego Ball

Well unfortunately I missed Mythebusters at UCI. I didn't buy my ticket, but I was sick anyway so I probably wouldn't have gone even if I did. Fortunately I found this very entertaining video tonight.



It's pretty hilarious. I would feel like I wasted my life after seeing the end result.

Oh and here's the original video



Look at it, I feel like I can already tell it's fake just the way it rolls and stuff doesn't really make sense from a physics stand point...plus how many car alarms actually sound like that except for ones in the movies??



wildwombat

Yes, Yes, Y-E-S

Watch it in full screen. Seriously.

J in my P. That is all.

alternate source: http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/transformers-2/trailer



wildwombat