Vol. 121

I don't really know what brought on these extreme thoughts of the future.
Maybe it was my friends discussing how people we know are turning 20 before the end of this year.
Maybe it was the fact that I want to avoid doing more research on Arthur Ashe.
Maybe it was the rain.

Either way, it's nagging at my mind.

Twenty years old? Twenty? 2-0? That's 1/5th of a century. That's a solid chuck of life.

Then I realized how fast this second year is going, and yet it feels like I've been doing this forever. It must be a sign of familiarity. A sense of belonging that I'm finally beginning to feel more and more.

I like to tell people that college is probably the most direct and indirect experience you will ever have.

Indirect in that professors have such little interaction with you. They rarely try to remember your name. They don't care if you don't want to be there. They're responsible for upwards of 300 students, plus their own research. They have no time for us. On top of that, you are one in a population of 20,000+ students. You'll be lucky if 20% of them know your name.

And yet...the feeling of belonging has never been greater.
You'll meet new people and you'll make it count. You'll find people always looking forward to see you, always coming to talk to you, always supporting you. Aside from the few at home, I've never felt closer to these people.

I'm starting to do more research into studying abroad. My plan is to go the summer of 2011 so between my 3rd and 4th year to hopefully the UK or Spain. People keep saying how they wish they could've stay for a whole year, but I'm not sure if I want to give up my fourth and final year like that. So I'll probably just leave early during the summer and spend time traveling before fall when my classes start.

Essentially, this post is the fact that things seeming so far in the future are suddenly coming at me faster and this is my outlet for not letting it overwhelm me. Actually a lot of things I write here are to keep myself from being overwhelmed when I think about it.

Is that considered teenage angst? I sure hope not, but if it is does it go away when we all turn 20?



wildwombat