I decided to go on my extremely old photobucket account and found this picture. Most of you probably won't know who this is and you really don't need to because she's not really what this blog is about.
There is a line from Myazaki's "Spirited Away" that goes:
"Once you've met someone you never really forget them. It just takes a while for your memories to return."
She came to my school Junior year. She found her way into my heart faster than anyone I've ever known...and disappeared just as quickly when she had to move back to Michigan. I tried to keep in contact with her, but during the flurry of senior year, I lost her.
It's a sad thing to think that maybe friendships don't last forever even with all these social networking sites and different communication avenues. I remember by Anthropology teacher explaining kin and clans about how some are simply groups of people who claim to be from same person and actual groups of relatives. He said that simply "Friendships do not last forever, you will lose your friends, but you will never lose your family." Sorry Professor Egan, but I don't subscribe to that at all. I think friendships can last forever if you put in the effort to make sure of it. I now have friends all over the country because of college that I try to keep in contact with. Now perhaps two or three years down the road, we won't talk that much, but I sure as hell will try. I've lost too many people and let too many people get away before to let that happen now.
And even if you don't believe me, I'll tell you this, someone once described my group of friends here at UCI as a family and if we are still following what my Anthropology teacher said, it will last forever. I'll make sure of it and I will make sure to not lose the friends I already have.
I wish I were still in contact with her. Who knows maybe she'll stumble upon this one day. If she does, I want her to know a couple of things:
I miss you.
I miss when you would call me and your mom would always ask who you were talking to.
I hope where ever you are, you are happy.
I hope our paths cross again.
wildwombat
I understand. And I agree. And I only talked to her a couple times. I'm actually working on what you're talking about right now with some folks. Also, FYI, I'm pretty sure I've seen her on Facebook; I'd recommend adding her and chatting it up again.
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ReplyDeleteI don't think you can ever fully "lose" someone. Almost everyone you meet changes and shapes you, either directly or indirectly. I think once someone has been a part of your life, they never really leave. Somehow, they've made you who you are today, and I think in that sense, you can never really "lose" a friend, because they're essentially a part of you.
ReplyDeleteRegardless, I think you should Facebook her if she really does have a Facebook. You've already made a conscious acknowledgement that you lost her, then wouldn't you technically be letting her go again if you KNOW she has a Facebook and that you could contact her again, but choose not to? Anyways, I say facebook friend her!
I've read this article literally five times now, and it keeps giving me this weird feeling down my spine. Yesterday on the bus back from the gym, I realized that were there was only 6 weeks of class left. That might sound like a lot but we are more than 80% through our first year.
ReplyDeleteAs I was driving home today I kept going over the memories of how I felt before I moved in. To put it lightly, and pardon my French, but I was scared shitless. Those of you who know me, know I have a twin. The closest friends I have back at home are because of her. I remember being affraid of leaving home, because I no longer had my sister at my side. I was affraid that no one would want to be friends with me. I was affraid I'd fail without my sisters help. But most importantly I was affraid I just wouldn't find my place at Irvine.
I got so sad on the bus thinking that such an amazing first year is getting so close to an end. On the ride home I couldn't really sleep because I took a two hour nap before my mom came. I was stuck just thinking, and getting flashbacks of a lot of random memories, of how I met some of my friends, all the fun things we did for our Birthdays, and my favorite, just staying up all night talking, while watching the sun go down and back up.
Just going through all these memories made me feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I've made friends with the coolest people on campus. They always know how to have a good time, and are all so nice and caring. Most importantly I know you guys always have my back, and I would without hesitation put all my trust in each and everyone of you.
Now with all that said, I'm going to have to say that I agree with what Egan said. Friendships dont last forever. I've seen it happen to me so many times. I could not hold on to a single friend all through elementary school and junior high. I have only 2 or 3 friends from high school that I still talk to and hang out with. Friendships come and go, and through each one, you learn a little bit more about yourself.
Now before you guys start thinking that I don't like to hold on to friendship, hear me out. I remember one night, I'm not sure if it was me or someone else who said it, but we toasted to "family we can chose". Since I come home every couple of weeks, one thing has come quite clear to me. This might sound a little extreme, but it feels as if my home is no longer in San Diego. Yeah I know, the house that I lived in for 18 years is down there along with my family that I love so much, but everytime I go home, I feel out of place. UCI is the place I chose to go. My friends are the ones I chose to have. My life there is of my own choice, and as I realize now, it is my new home.
I would sit down for another couple of hours and just list the names of all the friends I've made, but I dont want to make this any longer than it already is. I'll just say, you know who you are when I write this. There is a fine line between friends and family, friends dont last forever but you do not have to be blood to be family. There is not much I wouldn't do just to keep the friends I have close. If I care that much about you, you aren't my friend, I consider you family.
Its a weird feeling being so sad that something so great is about to come to an end, yet being so happy of the new family I've made. I know that it will never really be over, and next year will be just as good if not better. To all of you guys, you know who you are. Thanks for being in my life.